Last weekend, the father of one of my daughter’s friends was standing in my kitchen.  He was obviously noticing the disaster I had created all over the counters and right out into the living room.  Papers with sketches, disassembled computers, weird glued together prototypes… he didn’t ask what the mess was all about (I’m sure he was being polite!) … but I had a strong desire to explain what was going on anyway.

You see, before he came over to get his daughter, I had just posted an entry to my iKollect.com blog outlining my goal for the year.  In that entry, I explained my year end and weekly goals, which were both aimed at my quitting my dreadful day-job.  I had posted that blog entry for one reason and one reason only; I wanted to put pressure on myself to succeed.  If I had merely told myself that I was going to quit my job by the end of the year, it would be easy for me to to make excuses for why I was failing.  But if I communicated that same goal to *the world*, then I would in some way feel the pressure of other people laughing behind my back, calling me a failure. 

But there was a problem with that plan.  Many of the people who read my little blog don’t actually know me, so I don’t hold their opinions too highly.  If they snicker at me, it hurts a little, but not a lot.  And the other readers are close family who would not make fun of me anyway (at least not *that* kind).  And in fact they might let me off the hook even easier than I would let myself off.  So although at the moment I was feeling the pressure of the outside world watching me, it wasn’t feeling like enough pressure.  I needed more pressure.

So (whether he wanted it or not) I went into a long explanation  to this dad about what my little business was doing and what my main goal was (resign from the day job by the end of the year).  This dad is someone I respect greatly and have known for a long time.  In fact, he had just finished telling me details on how he is leaving his current “safe” job for a harder and slightly riskier one, but one that had potential to benefit his family greatly if it worked out.

I even threw in the story about that Spanish Conquistador, Hernando Cortez (of course I couldn’t remember that name when I was telling the story) who ordered his men to burn the ships after arriving in Mexico in 1518, ensuring that they had to make it work.  Returning to Spain was just not an option for Cortez and his men. 

I’m pretty sure that the other dad thinks I am a nut case and a little unstable.  He’s probably right.  But just like good ole Hernando, I’m committed to this mission.  And staying at my job for another year is just not an option for me.  I won’t allow myself an easy escape route, and I’m going to continue to burn the ships!

Tags: family, iKollect, motivation